If anyone hasn't forgotten me or given up on me yet, please accept my apology for crawling into a depressive hole and shutting out everyone who gives a shit in favor of booze, sleep and a dysfunctional relationship. I'm going to go crawl back into my hole now but I wanted to pop up and say hello, in the hopes that my indifference toward everyone and everything has not yet burned any bridges. Good night.
I had a dream the other night that it was 2010, and the dream stuck so long throughout the day that I almost threw away a box of pasta because the expiration date was 10/09, and I thought "I don't know if pasta can expire, but a year is a long time." I also saw a car in front of me with 05/10 tags on their car and thought "They'd better hurry up and get to the DMV before they get a ticket." I said so to Dru, which is how I finally realized I was ahead a year. It was pretty shocking and it took me a minute to believe him. I then made the pasta, which was in reality only expired a month. It was delicious.
Came across your profile browsing person to person because I'm bored. I guess I might as well tell you you're really fucking sexy and I spent a good amount of time fantasizing about you, since I would never have the guts to say that to your face. (not that you couldn't tell I'm sure... I am terrible at subtlety so I don't try)
Ah, thank you internet for giving me a cowardly medium with which to express myself.
I never did post June. Got on a roll there and then fell off. I'm having a mental block on June because it's more of a lead-in to all the chaos in July than anything. Meanwhile, August has come and gone for the most part. I want to get caught up fully so I can just post about my day or week as usual. I'll get to it eventually. Working a lot. (assuming I can actually keep this job) I'll get to that too.
"Drop weapons" are guns that troops carry around in case they kill an innocent person, so they can plant one on the body and write them off as an insurgent, thus relieving themselves of any responsibility.
Taking a break from the monthly updates, check out these 9/11 products I made. (with A LOT of help from Jenn)
The best part is 50% of the proceeds from sales of these products will be donated to nyccan.org, ae911truth.org and other truth organizations that desperately need funding.
I don't write anymore. I'm not sure why. I still read my freinds' entries, but not as often as I should. I don't want to drop of everyone's friends lists so I'd better get to writing again. Honestly, I don't know why I don't seeing as writing always makes me feel better. I guess I've just been... Busy? Depressed? Preoccupied?
Well anyway, I am going to get back to writing and get everyone all caught up on my life. I don't think there's any way this can be done in one post without taking up an entire day, so I'm going to make a series of posts, one for each month I've been basically MIA in the blogosphere. First catch-up post coming soon.
I know, I know. A survey isn't a real update at all. I just wanted to post something so you all don't start thinking my journal is inactive. I'll make a real update later. Anyway, this is a pretty good survey. I posted it on myspace originally, hence the myspace references. Stole it from an old friend named Jennie.
How many people do you know with your name? None. I'm just that awesome.
Do you ever turn your cell phone off? Rarely. I mostly go on silent mode when I'm asleep.
What do you want in your life right now? Income.
What do you smell like? Deodorant that STILL smells like fucking flowers even though it's marked "unscented."
What's your favorite Gatorade flavor? The blue one.
What's the last text in your inbox say? "Sure.."
Do you sleep in jeans? Of course I do. I also sleep in a large overcoat and a top hat, survey.
What do you currently hear right now? Weed cough and the Wii.
What do you think your best friend's doing right now? Depends who I label "best." They're probably all asleep anyway.
How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? Hard to say. When I was a teenager I thought 22 or 23 would be a good age because it seemed like some magical maturity was going to hit at that time. Now, at 25, the thought of it still scares me to death. I want them someday, just not now.
Would you rather watch football or baseball? If I had to choose, I'd slit my wrists and bleed out in the bathroom. Neither sport appeals to me. <----- (haha totally sticking with Jennie's answer. I was going to say something just like this!!!)
Do you feel like dancing? No, and you don't feel like watching me dance. Trust me.
Three feelings at the moment? Boredom. Stress. Need to pee.
When you're in a bad mood, who puts you in a better mood? It is near impossible to stay in a bad mood around Keith, so I'll give this one to him.
Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Not in a literal sense but only because that's impossible. I'd be ok with said persons being ejected into space though.
WHEN WAS: The last time you really laughed? A few minutes ago when I made a Freudian slip and Dru and I noticed at the same time.
Would you ever try being a vegetarian? No, but I'd eat one if prepared to my taste.
Did anyone call you babe yesterday? Indeed.
Did you ever slam a door on someone? *pout* Nooo! I'd never do that! I can't believe you think I'd do that! *SLAM!*
Is there anyone you know that deserves to get slapped? So many that if I had to slap one per second I'd be busy for the rest of my life.
What's something you really want right now? To be thin.
How do you feel bout your hair right now? It needs to be longer but it's coming around. And "about" is not "bout" unless you want to put in an apostrophe and say "'bout" but why are we talking all super-fly? It's just a survey.
Is it easy to make you cry? I go through phases on that one. Right now it's yes, moving slowly toward no.
Have you kissed more than 10 people this year? I have no idea. I'd say probably so.
What's the first thing you do when waking up in the morning? Put on my robe and go pee.
Do you prefer a shower or bath? Shower for cleaning purposes, bath for hangovers that are so bad standing is not an option.
How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Oh Jesus. Probably 5-10. I'm super OCD about it. I usually brush them every time I wake up in the middle of the night and after smoking a cigarette, drinking coffee, eating garlic, etc. I know, it's ridiculous.
What would you do with a 10 bill you found on the ground? Run around Colfax asking if anyone lost $10. Or not.
Have you said "I love you" today? Many times.
What's one thing you actually remember about kindergarten? Mrs. Johnson.
Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun? I like to hide from the sun under layers of sunblock and keep my nice glowing white color.
Is chocolate really better than sex? Good chocolate (no cheap shit) is better than BAD sex, but not good sex. <----- (again keeping Jennie's answer) To add to it though, have you ever tried that stuff that comes on chocolate fountains at fancy events? Holy shit. I'd take that over almost any one of my awkward high school experiences.
What's 2 of your favorite movies? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Crying Game.
What's the last thing you think about before going to sleep at night? Usually some stressful thing I have to do the next day.
How many rumors have you heard about yourself Plenty. Have you heard the one where I stay up too late watching Dru play Wii tennis out of the corner of my eye while I fill out really long myspace surveys? I hear the person who started that one has three nipples and shits their pants.
Which one did you find to be the funniest? The one where I still live in Seattle. C'mon, folks. Get with the times.
What's a nickname you go by? None really, although Jen has been known to call me "Ady" or "Ad."
How do you calm down when your extremely angry? Put apostrophes where they belong. (when YOU'RE extremely angry) I also enjoy cuddling.
Do you prefer to work hard or hardly work? Somewhere in between. I like to keep busy but I don't like pulled muscles and things of that nature.
What are 3 places you want to see in the world? New Zealand, the Bahamas and inside Christian Bale's pants.
A movie or a long walk in the park on the first date? Long walk. How are you supposed to get to know someone when you're in a place where you can't talk?
What are 3 of the first things you notice about the opposite sex? Are they tall? Thin? Any facial hair? Yes yes no? Ok, we can continue.
Do long distance relationships actually work out? No. If you can't make eye contact when you talk to someone or have makeup sex, things get real impersonal real fast.
Which would you prefer...be rich and miserable, or poor and extremely happy? I don't think anyone would take the first. Isn't happiness all anyone wants out of life? If I had a guarantee like that how sweet would that be? "Just keep losing those jobs and you'll always have a high seratonin level." I'd live in a box for fuck's sake.
What's one of your favorite TV shows? The Whitest Kids U Know.
Does your life revolve around drama? I think drama revolves around my life.
What did you want to be when you "grow up"? A singer. Does karaoke count?
Would you ever date someone covered in tats and piercings? FUCK NO. <----- (Thank you Jennie. Agreed. The human body is a work of art on its own. If you want to make more art there is canvas for that)
What's your favorite perfume or cologne for the opposite sex? I just like the smell of manliness. If cologne must be worn, I didn't mind Curve when Thom wore that. That's the only one I remember by name. But yeah... deodorant and shampoo are more than enough. I like men to smell like men, not the Botanical Gardens.
Do you believe the first kiss tells you everything you need to know about the relationship? No, but it can tell a lot. If you have a good first kiss it's a good sign that you're compatible. A bad first kiss can easily be remedied. I read much more into good first kisses than bad ones.
Where do your hands go when kissing someone? Hair/face.
Do you know who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Probably Amy Winehouse.
How many showers do you take in one day? 0-1.
Would you want a house at the beach or in the mountains? If I were rich enough for one I don't see why I couldn't afford the other too. But, according to a previous question this overindulgent lifestyle would make me miserable, so I'd have to give the houses both to charity and live in a box in order to keep my seratonin levels up.
Which would you rather have...a huge walk in shower or a jacuzzi bath tub? Jacuzzi!
What are 2 of your favorite colors? Deep red and purple. But not together.
Do you look up or at your feet when you walk? Depends where I'm walking.
What's your favorite ice cream? I like the cheesecake or birthday cake ice cream creations from Cold Stone.
Do you like Starbucks...or are they just overpriced? They are overpriced and shitty. You have to order a double shot just to make your coffee taste remotely like coffee.
Are you a prep or a jeans-and-t-shirt type of person? Oh my, those are the only two choices? What have I been doing all my life! *shoots self*
What color are your eyes? They change. Usually a greyish color.
Do you have glasses or contacts? Glasses.
What color are your bedroom walls? White.
Do you ever actually make your bed? Sometimes. Haven't in a few days.
How many pillows do you have to sleep with? I prefer to sleep with at least 2 pillows and one man.
Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone? See previous question.
What is one of your pet peeves? The spelling/punctuation in most of this survey.
What could you tolerate...someone who snores or a sleep walker? I'd much rather deal with a sleep walker. Snoring keeps me awake. Anyway, sleep walking would give me an excuse to tie my partner up.
What's the craziest thing you've ever done? A little bit of destruction of property and theft. It's all good though.. I came clean a long time ago. (yeah sorry about that again)
Would you rather sky dive or bungee jump? Bungee jump. I like being attached to something. It makes me feel safer. I plan to bungee jump at the Royal Gorge this year in September or October when they have a week where you can do it. I did have my first ever bad bungee dream last night though so maybe I'll give it a second thought.
Do you have to have some kind of noise to fall asleep? Dear God no. I sleep with earplugs and a mask. I'd go into a cocoon if I could.
What time is it right now? This question is too depressing to answer.
What's your zodiac sign? Taurus.
How long does it usually take you to get dressed? Just a few minutes and then a few more for makeup.
Do you prefer to call or text someone? dear lord, call. if you have the fucking phone in your hand, for fuck's sake use it to make the call lol. <----- (We have a lot in common, Jennie. I mean seriously... texting comes in handy in loud places or work where calling is not possible but what is the point of one person sitting on the couch texting another person who is sitting on the couch to ask what they're up to?)
Who is your celebrity heart-throb? Christian Bale.
Would you have survived 100 years ago? Nah. I got strep like every 5 minutes when I was a kid.
What do you think the world will be like in 30 years? Impersonal, alienated and depressed. Everyone will be on medication, no one will remember what it was like to make plans and keep them and the kids will do more online dating and texting than actual dating. Parents will become so paranoid that children will never walk to school and rarely play outside. Men will sue each other rather than fight each other in almost any case. All our animal instincts will slowly disappear as we domesticate ourselves and become useless, fat hogs.
Do you prefer dogs or cats? Cats. They don't eat their own shit and then lick my face.
When no one is home...do you actually walk around naked? Not here. Too many roommates in and out all the time.
Have you ever seen a ghost? Not that I'm aware of, except for maybe in a picture. (EricInKent knows what I'm talking about)
What's the best movie you've seen recently? Jesus Camp. Painful to watch but a must-see.
Do you prefer scary movies or comedies? Usually comedies. I don't like graphic violence unless it's really funny and fake-looking.
Are you a bashful or outgoing person? ENFP. 'Nuff said. (except when I meet parents and am scared shitless so I just sit there silently and smile)
What was one thing you were given as a child and still have? An origami instruction book.
Do you have a favorite shirt or pair of jeans you wear over and over? I only have a few that fit my fat ass these days, particularly my big black skirt and the khakis I'm wearing now.
Would you actually relocate for the one you can't live without? Absofuckinglutely.
How many texts do you send on average a month? It was under a thousand but due to my new phone that isn't a pain in the ass to text on I upgraded to unlimited.
Have you ever talked to a psychic? Not a real one I don't think.
How many kids do you want? 2 is the number that comes to mind, although as I said before these things are hard to predict.
Have you ever actually snuck out of your house? When I was a teenager.
Ever been taken to jail? Yeah. Never for more than a day though unless you include juvie.
Have you ever had a pen pal? Not since I was little.
What are you about to do now that this survey is over? Hope to God myspace doesn't fuck up and erase the whole damn thing.
Job. No job. Shit job. Same job, different place. No job. Diner job. Current.
Heartbreak. FUCK YOU ALL. Sex. Sex. Sex. Loneliness. Sex. Love. Open. Confusion. Guilt. Satisfaction. War.
Broken painting. Slight concussion. New roommates. Fuck Kayla. Love him. Miss him. Disappointed in him. Maybe I should sing a HYMN? Haha.
Benzodiazegrog.
Ripped pants. Not-so-ripped abs. Growing hair. Comfortable but defensive. I don't give a FUCK what kind of wine you drink. Hence I bring you pancakes and coffee. This we agree on.
I like you. All of you. (most of you)
Fo shism my jism.
Bruises. Memories. Strange events. I should have known he wouldn't behave himself.
Looking back on all of it I think of all the pain he caused, all the lies he told and the manipulation and I don't really care how much it hurt him to find out about... us? Not us. That's the wrong word. What could have been, and might have been, and was for a glorious week. If I could stay I would have for him though. Remember, him in bold? Good, you're paying attention. After all the times he made me cry his feelings really shouldn't matter. They don't in the sense he wants them too, like granting unreasonable requests for zero personal gain. But they matter, somehow, somewhere. It's ok, I'm just a better person than he is. However, this is starting to have structure so I digress.
Bad comedy. Expensive burgers. Amazing music. Sunset. Hot tub. Soft bed. The biggest tomato I have ever seen.
My first night shift at Tom's was awesome. I waited on the Micro Wrestling Federation, who had just finished a show at the Three Kings Tavern. I looked these guys up and they are national. Didn't realize I waited on celebrities. Fucking cool!
1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with? Yes. I've done it.
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night? It all depends on the mood. They all have their charm.
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Right, usually facing right as well.
4. Do you masturbate? No. That's a sin.
5. How often? Lately? Why ask if you're going to assume the answer, survey? Ok, twisted my arm. Yes I do. Usually once a day or nearly that unless I'm either sick or getting laid on a regular basis.
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? Thankfully no.
7. Do you prefer showers or baths? Showers. Baths are rare and are usually after a night of drinking.
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath? Tried it in the shower. I seriously can't make it work. If you're going to fool around in the shower just do handjob type stuff. Going for actual penetration is far more effort than it's worth.
9. Do you watch/read pornography? I prefer to read it. A picture has its effect and then wears off in about 2 seconds. A story you can read at your own pace and it keeps you busy for a while.
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? Definitely aggressive. An aggressive person can still play a passive role if we want to change things up, but I've found passive people are no good at being aggressive.
11. Do you love someone on your friends list? All of you! Aw shucks.
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list? Most of them. LJ is definitely more personal than Myspace.
13. Would you choose love or money? Love. There's nothing like eating ramen noodles by candlelight.
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed? My favorite I won't disclose, but I do like playing with knives (as a dominance thing, not a cutting thing) and other various control scenarios.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually? Many times.
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex? In a hotel room on vacation.
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? In an empty school bus in a church parking lot. (first time)
18. Have you ever been caught having sex? Yeah... one time Matt and I couldn't wait until we got home after karaoke so we went at it in a dark alley and then the bar let out and people started filing by and watching us. We kept at it until a couple stopped and stared. That was too awkward so we went back to his place to finish.
19. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes, but unfortunately only ever female. Who wants to take me to a male strip club?
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex? I'm a girl. I don't have to do that.
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons? Nope.
22. Ever been picked up in a bar? I've met guys in bars whom I've later had sex with but never done a one night stand.
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? Kissed several, went down on one. She was so gorgeous she crossed the line of my near 100% straightness.
24. What's your sexuality? 94% straight.
25. Had sex in a movie theater? No. I usually pay for movies because I want to watch them. Sex during the movies is for home on the couch.
26. Had sex in a bathroom? Yeah, at a party.
27. Have you ever had sex at work? Not my work but someone else's. Got it on with Republican Dan in the supply closet at his office when he invited me over to keep him company while he worked late.
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store? Where else would I buy my lube and toys?
29. Bought something from an adult store? See 28.
30. Do you own any sex toys? A big-ass bag of them.
31. If yes, how many and what are they? How many grains of sand are on the beach?
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film? I'm sure there are pics floating around on a couple of computers, including mine, but no film.
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name? Just once. I was at a party (see question 26) and was very drunk. I was dating psycho Mike at the time. Erik and Erik were both going to try and make it, and I'd just gotten off the phone with Eric, so I called him Erik(c) by accident simply because I had the name fresh in my mind.
34. Have you ever had phonesex? Tried one time with this guy I was friends with in Kentucky. It was pretty lame. He told me I wasn't moaning enough.
35. Have you ever had cybersex? Probably something resembling it when I was a young teenager just discovering the internets with my 10 free hours of AOL.
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse? Yes, especially when it's cheating.
37. What's your favorite sexual position? On our sides kind of pretzelfied. Deep penetration and also very intimate.
38. What's your favorite sex act? Act 5.
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time? A couple of times.
40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this? boka_cheka. Don't let me down, girl.
For those of you who ever doubted that the World Trade Center was brought down by explosives, give this a watch. It's only 10 minutes and it's indisputable scientific evidence of demolition. And for those of you who already knew, now is time to celebrate because the truth is finally out!
Adara says: hello there Adara says: did you happen to call the fire department yesterday? Adara says: I'm not sure what your plan is not answering the phone or responding to text or IM. Do you think if you just ignore us we're going to let you leave your stuff at our house for the next 2 months while you stay somewhere else/ Adara says: we can't give you money back if you won't talk to us Jessica says: Fine, I'll talk. Adara says: ok Adara says: what's your plan Adara says: and more importantly, did you call the fire dept? Jessica says: I just want out of this situation. It's taking it's toll on me, and I think it's best if we cut it now. Jessica says: I did not phone the fire department. I phoned the police, they must have contacted the fire department. Adara says: well yeah, we've established you don't want to live with us and vice versa Adara says: what did you call the police about? Jessica says: I did not phone the fire department. I phoned the police, they must have contacted the fire department.
Jessica says: Someone is making meth in that place. Adara says: what?? Adara says: you were trying to claim kayla and I make meth? Jessica says: No, I'm saying that's what it smelled like. Adara says: you're crazy Jessica says: My girlfriend and I were in there on Sunday and it smelled of sharpies and nail polish remover. As I am on hormones and going through transition, I'm more susceptible to disease. Adara says: how do you know what a meth lab smells like anyway? Adara says: um... we have both sharpies and nail polish remover in the house Jessica says: Mariah told her sister, who is a chemical dependency councillor, what it smelled like and that's what her sister told me. Adara says: right, makes sense Adara says: when a house full of girls smells like sharpies and nail polish remover, it must be meth... not SHARPIES AND NAIL POLISH REMOVER. Adara says: it couldn't possibly be that you were trying to get the cops into the house so they could find other, more skunky smells, could it? Adara says: they were pretty annoyed at having their time wasted, btw Jessica says: Like your pot, which Mariah smelled the other time she was in the apartment? Jessica says: I genuinely thought it was meth. Adara says: my pot? I don't touch that shit. Jessica says: Well, I know Kayla does and I know the guys downstairs do. Adara says: I don't know what your drug history is like but I personally would not recognize the smell of meth Adara says: so you were trying to get kayla and randy arrested? Jessica says: I also know that she was ordering Percocet and Oxycotin over the phone. Adara says: uh... you can't order things like that over the phone Jessica says: If that house blows up and I'm on the lease (I don't know my status at that apartment - it's debatable), I could get blamed. Jessica says: I don't want to be arrested for being an accessory to producing drugs. Adara says: you are so delusional it's ridiculous Jessica says: Oh, but I'm not delusional. Adara says: I could probably have you sent to denver health mental ward on a 72 hour hold for this Jessica says: Why? Because I tried to report you for doing drugs? Adara says: you are so delusional that you think nail polish remover is meth Jessica says: Or producing drugs? Adara says: and you think kayla is ordering prescription meds over the phone, which is not possible Jessica says: From a friend over the phone. Adara says: I'd think you would have noticed a meth lab Adara says: you've been in our rooms Jessica says: That's what it smelled like. And even if you don't use meth, being in a house where meth is being produced can have adverse health effects. Jessica says: No I haven't. Adara says: lots of nail polish in kayla's Adara says: uh... you would probably notice A METH LAB in your house Adara says: your vindictive little attempt to get us in trouble didn't do you much good... the fire dept came for an odor report and was quite annoyed when there was nothing there Jessica says: I did what I thought was right. Jessica says: You can't make me feel guilty for that. Adara says: the fact that you admit you were trying to get kayla and I arrested is proof you are vindictive and psychotic and I don't feel safe around you, or with my pets around you. Adara says: I think throwing your stuff out and changing the locks is the best course of action Adara says: the police will understand Jessica says: Hardly. Adara says: we are in danger. you are a delusional, insane person. Jessica says: I am not. Adara says: go ahead and tell the cops you think you were living around a meth lab Jessica says: I am not the one using illegal drugs. Adara says: see if they don't think you're crazy Adara says: right, nail polish and sharpies Adara says: when are you moving your dirty, disgusting shit out of the house? Jessica says: My stuff is not dirty nor disgusting. And I am planning to move it out within a week. Adara says: in the mean time I think kayla and I should change the locks. we'll let you in to get your stuff, provided we have someone around to protect us and our pets Adara says: you have proven quite vindictive and unstable Adara says: you also wasted our police resources, which is a crime Jessica says: Hardly. I was just doing what I think is right. Adara says: do you realize how much crime happens in the city? someone could have died waiting for the fire dept because they had to report to a disgrunted roommate trying to get back at her roommates Jessica says: I thought someone was cooking meth in that building. Adara says: if you really thought that, you are crazy enough that you are a danger to us. if you do not believe that, you are vindictive enough that you are a danger. either way. Jessica says: Alrighty, since you say that I am not on the lease, I will ask that you refund my security deposit. Adara says: and I will say no Jessica says: And the rent from when you find someone until the time that I have paid until. Adara says: no no no Jessica says: Why not? It's only fair. Adara says: you tried to get us arrested and now you're asking me for money? you are hilarious GURL Jessica says: Money that you have no right to and that you owe me. Adara says: mike has your rent money. if he won't give it you you are shit out of luck Jessica says: I regret that I was stupid enough to pay 3 months of rent in advance, but hindsight is 20/20, no? Adara says: anything kayla and I would refund to you would be out of the goodness of our hearts, like we did marty. we didn't legally owe him, but he was nice and cooperative. you, on the other hand, tried to report our house as a meth lab. plainly put, FUCK YOU. Jessica says: Don't contact me, unless it's for a forwarding address so you can send my cheque. I will start pursuing this in small claims court. Adara says: have fun Adara says: your case will be against the management, not me Adara says: mike has your money Adara says: so go ahead and fight it out with him Adara says: in the mean time, and this is for real this time, if your shit is not gone by the weekend it will be placed outside in boxes/bags for you Adara says: enjoy those court fees Jessica says: I'm also planning to sue you for the deposit that you owe me. Adara says: good luck with that as well. Adara says: you wrote the check to me with no contract. that check could be for anything. Jessica says: *sigh* Next time, I am so doing better with the paperwork so that I can combat being taken like I was. Adara says: next time don't send the fire dept to someone's house if you believe they owe you money Adara says: I think this conversation is over Adara says: come get your stuff soon Adara says: bye Jessica says: I sent the fire department to your house because i believed someone was making meth in that house! Adara says: you sound like a crazy person Adara says: goodbye Jessica says: I'm not crazy. I'm irritated, yes. But I know what I smelled and I know the conversations you have had in that house. Adara says: goodbye Jessica says: Specifically the ones where you asked me to bring back pain pills from Thailand. Adara says: if you waste the police's time again I will report you for false reporting. it is a serious crime and wastes valuable resources Adara says: pain pills from thailand? Adara says: and heroin from japan Adara says: lol Adara says: can I have some spanish cocaine too? Jessica says: You know what i'm talking about, when I told you I was going over to Thailand to have SRS. Adara says: look, I'm not talking about this with you anymore. if you really want to spend your time and money chasing me in small claims court for a measely $400 you gave me with no contract, go right ahead. Adara says: and chasing mike for whatever you feel he owes you Adara says: but don't bother me with this paranoid shit and don't send the cops to my hosue Adara says: *house Jessica says: It's not paranoid. Adara says: if you do anything to hurt me, kayla, our pets or our things I will prosecute to the fullest extent of the law and get a restraining order Jessica says: Why would I do that? Adara says: I suggest you make things easy on everyone and just come quietly, get your things, get the fuck out and we can forget we ever knew each other. Jessica says: I'm going to get back what you owe me through civil court and other legal means. Jessica says: I can agree to that. Adara says: other legal means Adara says: you mean your false claims of my transphobia? Jessica says: They are true. Adara says: that one will show you even more crazy than the meth lab Jessica says: You are transphobic. Adara says: we can go to court and pick through my various donations to glbt causes Adara says: my attendance at various protests for glbt rights Jessica says: And various threats towards me, an actual transsexual person. Adara says: you don't understand, you just don't. Adara says: it's YOU Jessica says: Because I'm transsexual. Adara says: and I didn't threaten you, I called you a bitch Adara says: if I were transphobic I'd call you an asshole Adara says: I also have witnesses from randy's house who heard me berating him for a good half hour for talking shit about your sexual orientation Jessica says: Whatever. Leave me alone. Deal with your issues in therapy. Adara says: right back at you Adara says: you can't accept responsibility and it's so sad Adara says: if someone doesn't like you, they must hate all trans people Adara says: by that logic if someone doesn't like me, they must hate all women Jessica says: No, if they hate all trans people, or the notion of transsexuality, then they are transphobic. Adara says: or all jews Adara says: right, if they hate all trans people Adara says: see, I like most people I've met Jessica says: Or for a more technical definition, an irrational fear of transsexual people. Jessica says: As long as you could get something out of them with a minimal effort. Adara says: it sounds like you are the one who is transphobic Adara says: accept the facts, I do not like Jessica the person Jessica says: Because I am transsexual. Adara says: it has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with cops at my door, shit in the toilet and someone else's junk on my towel Adara says: right, and you hate me because I'm a woman Adara says: you hate all women Adara says: if you hate me, you must hate all women Jessica says: Then that would mean I hate myself? Adara says: kayla is female too Adara says: you are still a man biologically Jessica says: So's my girlfriend. Jessica says: Hardly. Adara says: so you hate all women who were born women Adara says: you are woman-phobic Adara says: I'm just using your flawed logic Adara says: you hate anyone who is NOT trans Jessica says: I hate the concept of womyn-born-womyn as a way to discriminate against transpeople but I am not misogynistic. Adara says: it's women Jessica says: Hardly. My partner isn't trans. She's just as cisgendered as you. Adara says: so, here's your fucked up paranoid logic: Jessica says: I'm not paranoid, nor fucked up. Adara says: even though I have done many things to stand up for glbt right, have various gay, lesbian and trans friends and thought it was really cool that you were going through the transformation, the fact that I did not like your PERSONALITY, which has nothing to do with your genitals, means I'm transphobic Adara says: therefore, using the same logic: Adara says: it doesn't matter how many female friends you have, if you hate me and I am female, you must hate me because I am (born) female Jessica says: No, it's the fact that you dislike the notion of transsexuality or gender variance. And seeing as I am a living example of gender variance, you hate me. Adara says: or we could throw in judaism. randy and I are both jewish. Adara says: no, I like the notion of transsexuality Jessica says: Having me live in your home drove you mad simply because you couldn't stand the thought of being next to a transsexual person. Adara says: which is why I like to stand up for glbt rights any chance I get Jessica says: And yet, oppress any GLBT people... Jessica says: Like the civil rights attorney which is a member of the KKK. Adara says: right, so I must have gone to all those glbt marches because the people standing next to me made me sick Adara says: you are so insane Jessica says: I'm not. And I so wish you weren't so transphobic so you could see your problem. Adara says: I am saving this conversation. If you do actually bother to take me to small claims court, I will use this to discredit everything you say by proving you are paranoid and delusional. Jessica says: I do hope one day that you get the therapy you need. Adara says: the more you say the worse you are making this Adara says: bottom line: shit out by this weekend Adara says: can you do this? Jessica says: I believe I can, but I will procure some help to get it out. Jessica says: And to ensure that my safety is protected. Adara says: in that case, we will have to arrange a time to ensure kayla and I can have people to protect us as well Jessica says: Why? Adara says: the only person who has done a malicious thing here is you, with the fire dept Adara says: why? why would you need protecting? no one has tried to hurt you. Adara says: if you get protection, we get protection Jessica says: Or you with stealing my rent, enabling the production of dangerous drugs in my living space, stealing my security deposit. Adara says: you are a deranged person and I have a 90 pound roommate and two helpless animals, one of whom you already subjected to mortal danger to spite kayla Jessica says: No, I haven't. Adara says: that is why I want someone around to protect us Adara says: see how crazy you are? read up... Jessica says: I am not deranged and I don't harm anyone. Adara says: "enabling the production of dangerous drugs in my living space" Jessica says: In fact, I feel sorry for your cats as they live in a meth house. Adara says: this is after you've discovered that *gasp* no one is making meth in the house Adara says: the meth that the fire dept didn't find? Adara says: and that doesn't exist? Adara says: you are not to enter our house unless we know you are coming and have people around to protect us Adara says: if you are bringing people, we have the right to have people too Jessica says: For what reason? Adara says: the same reason you do Adara says: you want to feel safe and so do I Jessica says: No, I have a legitimate reason to be concerned for my safety. Adara says: so do we Jessica says: What legitimate reason? Adara says: if you are not posing a threat, why are you opposed to us having protection? Jessica says: You stole from me, you threatened to destroy my personal property Adara says: I already told you what legitimate reason Jessica says: It just seems a little ... excessive is all. Adara says: you reported our house as a meth house and wasted important time that law enforcement could be using on real things Adara says: it's not excessive Adara says: and I don't know who you're bringing or if they are as crazy as you Adara says: all the more reason I want people around me as well Jessica says: Meaning whether or not they are trans. Adara says: hahahaha Adara says: riiiiiiight Adara says: this conversation is beautiful Adara says: it proves your insanity so well Adara says: I could kiss you Jessica says: Because of course, you seem to believe that all trans people are crazy. But that kind of stigma keeps Gender Identity Disorder in the DSM. Jessica says: Eww. Adara says: *sigh* Adara says: poor you Adara says: never be able to take responsibility Jessica says: You never will. Adara says: if anyone ever doesn't like you, you'll just say it's because they're trans Adara says: *you're trans Jessica says: You use the bathroom but didn't flush and blame it on me. Adara says: uh, again with the delusions Jessica says: You hold my security deposit for no reason. Jessica says: Yes, your delusions. Adara says: there is a good reason Jessica says: No, there isn't. Adara says: you moved into our house and were impossible to live with. you let kayla's cat out multiple times, were rude to us and had no respect for our things Jessica says: Okay, what's the reason? Has the property been damaged in some way? Adara says: thanks to you we now have to find yet another person to move in and go through all this again Adara says: as I said before, asshole tax Jessica says: You were impossible to live with. Kayla kept yelling things such as "Kill yourself" to me several times. Adara says: no she did not Jessica says: Yes, she did. Adara says: no, she didn't. want to do this all day? I don't. Jessica says: There is no damage to the property so you should refund the security deposit. Jessica says: Neither do I. Adara says: I refuse. Adara says: you reported my house as a METH HOUSE, you psycho bitch. Jessica says: Again, I'm not psycho. Adara says: and you did it in an attempt to get the cops inside where they could smell weed Adara says: that is a vindictive, shitty thing to do Jessica says: So, you only have weed in your house - maybe I was wrong. Adara says: you can't ask someone for money they don't legally owe you and then do something like that Adara says: I don't know if there is weed in my house Jessica says: You do owe me the money as the property was not damaged in any way. Adara says: I don't smoke it Adara says: no, I don't Adara says: show me the agreement we signed and I'll refund it when a court makes me Adara says: oh wait, no agreement Jessica says: How do you figure? What justification could you have for taking a security deposit from me and taking another one from someone else? Adara says: and if you're really going to take me to court for $400 we'll cross that bridge when we get to it Adara says: if you're willing to spend the time, money and effort it takes to go to small claims court for $400 which is not backed up by any paperwork, I'll fight you to the bitter end and if you win you win Adara says: I will, however, save this conversation as proof of your insanity Jessica says: I'm not insane. Adara says: I'm done with this. Adara says: DONE Jessica says: I'm not doing this anymore. I'll get my stuff on Saturday and I hope never to speak with you again. Adara says: when do you want to get your stuff out? you get your friends and I'll get mine. Jessica says: You are too much of a drain on me and every time I speak with you, I feel as though I need a shower to scrape off the filth. Adara says: if all goes well we can just ignore each other the whole time Jessica says: I would agree to that. Adara says: wow, your junior high insults are pretty brutal. Jessica says: I will talk with a couple of people and we will sort this thing out. Adara says: fine, tell me when you're coming and it has to be before the weekend Adara says: I have friday night off Adara says: and all of the weekend, now that I think about it Adara says: so I can do anytime after friday afternoon Adara says: I think kayla will be home this week while I'm at work, but I want us both to be there with protection Jessica says: It seems excessive, but whatever. Fine. Adara says: I find it excessive that you are bringing people Adara says: I don't know why you need more than one person to move a blanket, some pillows and some clutter Jessica says: Look at it from my standpoint and you'd see it as necessary. Adara says: no, I see it as a legitimate concern for kayla and I that you are bringing several people to do one person's job, and just in case you have ill intentions like you did when you called the police, we want to be equally matched Adara says: this is not open to discussion Adara says: we will have as much company over as we want Adara says: if we want to have 100 people there we will Adara says: when are you coming? Jessica says: I told you, I will let you know. I have to contact a few people. Jessica says: Listening skills are a very important thing, Adara. I hope someday, you will develop yours along with some morals. Adara says: well aren't you superior Adara says: enjoy that Jessica says: I've never done anything like this to another person in my life. I'm not superior, I just care about others. Adara says: you have a funny way of showing it Adara says: you sure don't care about animals Adara says: I'm about sick of this. I'm serious. Jessica says: Yes I do. I owned a cat when I was a child. Just because I accidentally let Kayla's cat out doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. Adara says: I'm giving you until the end of the weekend to get your stuff out Adara says: that is reasonable time Jessica says: And on another note, why is Kayla's cat always running out of the house in the first place? Adara says: it's not like you have furniture Adara says: because he's a fucking cat Jessica says: Or maybe he needs fresh air. Adara says: cats do things like try to get out and scratch things Adara says: your right, maybe he needs out of our meth lab! lol Adara says: oh god, you've got me there! proof! go to the cops! hurry! haha Jessica says: I'm tired of this. I'm done talking with you. I'll contact you when it's time to get my stuff out of that place. Adara says: "kayla's cat tries to go outside so they must be making meth" Adara says: that will be a fun phone call Adara says: good, and make sure it's before sunday night Jessica says: *sigh* Adara says: I will not hurt your things, but I will move them if they are still at the house after the weekend Adara says: I will put them in boxes for you to collect Adara says: so when you contact your people make sure you tell them this needs to be done soon Adara says: goodbye
It's been a rocky and very interesting February. Started with the move to the new place. I went to pick Gabriel up because he was going to help me move but his phone was off all morning. When I got there he asked me why I hadn't noticed he'd been ignoring my calls and taken the hint. He basically told me to go fuck myself and that he wasn't going to help me move, and then proceeded to tear me apart verbally piece by piece. He told me I am a "vile wretch", that I should kill myself, I have nothing to offer anyone in the world and am a terrible person, etc. etc. for a good 20 minutes. I just stood there in shock and took it all for a while and then finally started responding.
"Why did you tell me you loved me?" "It's really easy to get your pants off that way." "You don't invite a girl you don't care about over for Christmas." "I just did that to piss off my sister. She doesn't like you."
He had an answer for everything. Granted I don't think any of it was true but I'm not going to sit around psychoanalyzing this one like I always do. I'm done making excuses for him. If he really wants to burn this bridge that badly I'll light the fucking match. The icing on the cake was when he told me to stop "crying at him" and then pointed a can of spraypaint in my face and threatened to spray me in the eyes if I didn't get out.
I am aware Gabriel has anger issues. I've been aware of this for some time now. When we get in a fight, he says unbelievable things that I would never say to anyone and then later tells me he was just mad and trying to piss me off so I'd go away and give him time to cool off. I then tell him it's not ok to say the things he said under any circumstances, to which he replies that he knows and is sorry, then we make up. Repeat.
Well, this was the last straw. I am a very patient and loyal person and I know that we all have our flaws, so I'm generally willing to put up with a good deal of shit when I really care about a person. Probably too much shit. I accept apologies, forgive and forget. I don't know what it is about Gabriel but I have put up with verbal abuse from him on par with things my dad and aunt used to say. People have told me repeatedly that my friendship with him is not healthy and I should have ended it earlier, and part of me has always known that, I just didn't want to throw it away. We've had so many good times together and when he's not being a complete dick he's one of the nicest people in the world, and the most fun to hang out with, plus over the past few months we've gotten closer, as in more than just friends. I still called him my friend because we were never in a committed relationship (neither one of us could possibly handle that) but the fact is our feelings for each other have long since been beyond friendship. As cliche as this sounds, I thought he would change. I guess this is just another one of those life lessons that takes a good knife in the heart to learn.
Moving on, seeing as it was Superbowl Sunday it was pretty hard to find someone to help me move, but thanks to the awesomeness of gay friends I managed it. (who needs that sportsball crap?) Thanks again to those who helped. I got everything to the house a day late thanks to miscommunication with a truck I was supposed to borrow so there was some static with the old landlord but that's history now. Kayla, Marty and I started getting settled in and for a couple of days things were great. We made friends with our downstairs neighbor, Randy, and Aaron (guy who almost moved in but decided not to at the last minute) started making himself at home and coming around a lot, which was nice. He's an interesting person. The house had a very welcoming feel, with my friends and Kayla's friends over all the time. Kayla is 100% socialite like me. It's actually pretty amazing how much we have in common considering on the surface we're as different as night and day.
But as with all my blogs, dear readers, the drama-meter has to jump into the red zone at some point. That point is when Kayla and I started noticing inconsistancies in the stories Marty would tell, particularly where he grew up and his age. Depending on the day he was 22 or 27 and born in South Africa, the Virgin Islands, Vail or Nebraska, and one day he told Kayla his real name was Christian. He also liked to say he was at work during times we knew he had been home, which begged the question of if he even had a job. Supposedly he counsels children who are victims of domestic violence, but the things he was saying started making less and less sense. On top of all this he had developed a fixation with Kayla which she was thoroughly creeped out about. She woke up one morning to him watching her sleep, and he was always acting jealous when she would hang out with a guy. I guess the age difference between 19 and 27 isn't that dramatic but something seemed really not right about it. He invited her to go to a fancy dinner for work and she got all dressed up but changed her mind at the last minute. His response was to go to his room and sleep all night, and then the next day tell us he had ended up going after all even though we were up into the wee hours of the morning and knew he was there the whole time.
Finally Kayla called him out on his lies. She went off on him and then stormed downstairs to Randy's house where I was and we started brainstorming how to figure out what was going on. I got a hold of his phone and read his text messages and learned he had just gotten out of jail. When we confronted him together we asked him why he was in jail and after much hesitation and bullshit he told us it was an accessory to murder charge, but that he was innocent. Great! He went outside to smoke so, in a panic, we locked him out and started rummaging through his suitcases in his room. We didn't find anything regarding jail except a mug shot, but we did find 8 empty bottles of vodka. At this point it had been less than a week since he moved his things in. Marty broke the doorknob to get in and saw Kayla and I in his room. We told him we wanted to know his real name, age and all the things he'd lied about. He said he would never tell us and then took out an ID and said "You really want to see my ID? Here's a good one. I have more." When he took out his wallet to show us his ID I grabbed it out of his hand and we wrote down his birthday (he is actually almost 30), social security number and so on. Kayla called the cops and told them we just found out our roommate was potentially a murderer and couldn't even get a straight name or age out of him, so they came out and ran his name for warrants. He had none. However, he blew a 3.9 breathylizer so they took him to detox and told us there was nothing else they could do. They also said he'd been smoking crack.
After much stressing about what we were going to do we decided there was no point worrying about it so we invited some people over, got fucked up and partied like rock stars all night. It was fun. We also talked to the landlord who agreed to evict him so long as he could get a statement from the cop that he had been smoking crack.
The next morning Marty came home from detox, walked upstairs and didn't say a word. Ever since then we've mostly just co-existed, the only conversations being about getting him off the lease. I told him to only talk to me about it and not Kayla as she is scared of him and doesn't even want to see his face. At least he wants to leave, which means we don't have to go the eviction route. The day before yesterday I sat in his room writing up a lease addendum we could both agree on because he was being a dick about pro-rated rent and in the background he was feeding me more lies and excuses for the other lies he had told. I "uh-huh"my way through it. Tonight I need to hook up my desktop computer and type the shit out so we can all sign it. The plan is for him to be out by Sunday.
I was going to do this yesterday but there was a bit of a situation. I was downstairs on my laptop and some old toothless guy came to my window looking for Randy. He asked if I knew if the guy downstairs was home so I asked who he was looking for. I wanted to know if the guy actually knew Randy or not. He didn't know his name and just repeated that he was looking for the guy downstairs. I told him I had no idea where he was. A few minutes later the guy came back, this time really pissed. He yelled at me to tell my damn neighbor to answer his door and I said no, so he grumbled and muttered away and then started banging on Randy's door like he was trying to break it down. I heard the banging for a minute and then heard what sounded like two people yelling at each other. I thought I heard someone say "get out." Thinking the guy had broken in and attacked Randy, I went downstairs with an empty cherry vodka bottle as a weapon, ready to hit the guy over the head with it if need be. I knocked on the door for a while and stood there with the bottle behind my back. I could hear movement inside the house but no one answered or responded verbally so I called the cops. They were useless of course. They knocked on his door and when no one answered they said there was nothing else they could do. I got really pissed off at the cops. "What if that guy attacked him?! I think I heard him get in the house. Can't you just bust your way in there?!" They said no and then topped it off with a lecture about minding my own business. They said they thought it was nice I was trying to be a "good neighbor" but said they didn't understand why I gave a shit about someone I had only known a week and a half. I guess this is the world we live in. Sure I just met Randy this month but he I consider him a friend already and have spent about as much time at his apartment as my own. Kayla and I tried to call and text him over and over again until finally he answered and it turned out he'd been sleeping when the guy came to the door. He told me he met the guy earlier and the guy is crazy and won't leave him alone. When the cops were knocking he just thought it was still that guy so that's why he didn't answer. I guess I must have heard someone else yelling. I'm glad he was ok.
Kayla and I are going to be looking for a third roommate as soon as Marty gets out. We need someone who helps feed the vibe of the house as a welcoming place where we know our neighbors, let people sleep over and are always up for hanging out. If anyone knows anyone who might be interested let me know. It's a really good price and an awesome house.
Regardless of the whole Marty setback we're going to have a housewarming party on the 21st. I'm sure I'll call or message with more details but for blog readers here's a heads up. Bring your friends and help contribute to the booze if you can.
Tomorrow I might be leaving town with David. Not sure. We went from being on non-speaking enemy terms to getting the sudden idea that a drive to New Mexico for the weekend would be fun. I understand what a terrible idea this is but like I said the drama-meter is already in the red zone so what's a little more instability?
All in all, in spite of the shittiness of the Marty situation and losing Gabriel as a friend (or whatever he was), this has been an eventful, dynamic month and that's a sigh of relief after the cloudy monotony that was Seattle.
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